Wednesday, February 17, 2010

A lesson learned

As a parent, there are moments in your child's life that you will never forget. First, there are the milestones: your child's first tooth, their first time crawling, first steps, their first word. Then there are the kind of moments that stick in your memory simply because they're so absolutely gross you'll never forget them, like the numerous times I've been projectile vomited on, the time Haley spit up in my mouth while I was flying her over my head, or the time I was cooking dinner while Haley was playing in her jumper and I turned around to find her bouncing in a pile of her own poo. Take a guess at which kind of moment this post is about.

Yeah that's right, it's not the first kind.

The day started out innocently enough. It was Saturday evening, and my husband and I had just sat down to a dinner of pancakes and sausage. Let me pause and tell you how much I love breakfast for dinner, or "brinner" to be exact. There's nothing like a hot plate of syrupy, buttery pancakes and sausage. I could eat breakfast all day. Anyway, back to the story at hand, my daughter is quite the little beggar at dinner, brinner time. Even though Patrick and I feed her before we eat, she somehow always has room to eat our food too. I think she may be under the impression that her food is an appetizer and our food is the main course.

Although she's not walking yet, she's mastered the art of pulling herself up and cruising to get to countless things she shouldn't, like the tissue box, the DVD player, and the occasional piece of mail that was left on the coffee table supposedly out of her reach. This particular night, she had just finished her appetizer and bellied up to the coffee table to beg for my pancakes. I should probably stop giving her my food, but she gives me this little Puss in Boots stare that I can't resist. And yes, I'm sure she will continue to use this against me for as long as she can. I gave in to her cute little pleas, but I couldn't manage to stab a piece of pancake small enough for her to eat. Using my fingers, I pinched off a piece of pancake with syrup and put it into Haley's mouth, which left my fingers a little sticky.

Now, what I've neglected to tell you is that I forgot to get myself a napkin, which isn't such a big deal until you take into account the other thing that I had forgotten.

What I had also forgotten, was that my daughter had had a cold for the past 2 weeks, which left her with a runny nose. Since I was napkinless, I decided to just lick what I thought was syrup off of my fingers and continue on my merry, pancake-eating way. And then it happened.

I put my daughter's boogers in my mouth.

What I thought was syrup wasn't syrup at all. when I put my fingers to her mouth to give her some of the pancake, I hadn't noticed that some snot from her runny nose got on my fingers, making me think I had syrup on them. I immediately freaked out as my daughter looked on, innocently chewing on her pancake and getting ready for the next bite. Of course, my husband laughed hysterically when I told him what happened and then found me a tissue to spit in. No matter what I did, I could not get that (shudder) flavor out of my mouth.

So what have we learned in today's lesson kids? When you're a parent, you'll have lots of experiences that stick with you forever, both the good and the bad.

That, and always, ALWAYS carry a napkin.


  1. So, I have to say that I was cracking up the whole time I was reading your post Jen. Don't you wish you knew what was going on in her head when she saw you lick your fingers?! lol...too funny!

    Try not to get sick. However in the meantime you should get yourself immune to those Harry Potter Jelly Beans, because they have just about every disturbing flavor you can possibly imagine. Including some of which you mentioned in your post! Have a great day! :)

    Ashley Cyphers

  2. At least you didn't eat a rabbit terd like Gammie did. Well, actually, I think this is just as bad. You are now contaminated. GROSS!!!

  3. @Ashley: good thing I already have the cold that she has. When you have a kid, you pretty much catch every sickness they get. Prepare yourself :) Also, I HAVE had those Harry Potter jelly beans and they are DISGUSTING, probably worse than Haley's boogers. We used them to play a trick on my old youth leader. It was pretty funny to see his expression as he ate (what he thought) was fruit punch jelly beans :)

    @Shannon: LOL I would much rather go through what I did than eat a rabbit terd!! Ew!

  4. Oh Jen! Too perfectly gross!!!

    I was a picky eater as a kid (though my parents would argue I have yet to grow out of it). My dad so often put his hand in front of my face after I had been "chewing" over ten minutes. Many, many wads half-chewed of turkey/tomato sauce/chicken, etc. wound up in those hands.

    Even to this day, if I'm sick or something and don't share my cup or spoon, he always reminds me of these times and says, "You cannot POSSIBLY gross me out anymore than you already have."

    Cherish these times.


  5. Jen, you made me laugh so hard I almost had snot flying out of my own nose!

  6. Thanks Hattie :D I didn't know you had a blog, I love it! I think I have a new blog to add to my daily reads :)

  7. Ewww... that is hillarious!

  8. Hilarious Jen!! Lucy gives us the Puss In Boots eyes too - PERFECT description of that!!


  9. It's so irresistable! I'm powerless when she gives me that look


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