I'm not sure how much I've mentioned previously about the complications I had with my daughter when I was pregnant with her since I started writing this particular blog after she was born, but I'll try to make a long, drawn out story short. While pregnant with her it was discovered that I have a small cervix. For those of you who aren't up to date on female anatomy, the cervix is a very important part that helps to keep the baby in. For women with a small cervix, that means there is a very good chance of having a premature baby. Unfortunately, I am one of those people.
At 25 weeks pregnant with my daughter, my cervix became so shortened that I was forced to go on bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy, which ended up being 10 more weeks until my daughter made her way into the world in all of her impatient glory after only 30 minutes of pushing. See, I'm great at the whole labor and delivery thing, but I'm not so good at the whole staying pregnant thing. Which brings me to recent events.
This time around, my husband and I were aware of my incompetent cervix. I approached each monthly visit with my OB tentatively, always with the thought in the back of my head that things might take a turn for the worse like they had the last time. But when I made it to 26 weeks with still no sign of a singular complication I thought, "maybe this time things are different!" And they were, but only until this past Tuesday at my 30th week appointment when it was discovered that my cervix had shortened from a normal length of 3 cm to a mere 6 mm.
I can't tell you how disappointed I was at that moment. Disappointed that things were, in fact, NOT different this time around. They were just the same.
And so I was wheeled off to the labor and delivery wing of the hospital to make sure I didn't go into early labor. And that is where I sit now (still pregnant, thankfully.) It's been 2 1/2 days since I was brought here and part of me still can't believe it's even been that long. I feel like I've been on a roller coaster, one that I can't seem to get off. Despite everything though, I have found a lot to be thankful for.
- My husband. Because of these sudden events, my poor hubby has had to take over a ton of responsibility, including being the sole caretaker of our daughter while I'm at the hospital. If you see my daughter and her hair resembles that of a Troll doll, I take no responsibility.
- The support of some amazing friends. In the past 2 1/2 days, I've had friends come visit me to keep me company, paint my toenails, bring me foods I've been craving, help my husband care for my little girl at home, bring me reading materials, and handle my vomit container after I got sick. I don't know what I did to deserve such awesome friends, but I know that I'm eternally indebted to at least 9 people, and I'm ok with that.
- Prayers of family. There's nothing like the knowledge that your family loves you so much that they have an entire state praying for your health and that of your baby. Between mine and my husband's family members, we pretty much have the entire East Coast praying for us.
- Solid food. When someone tells you you can only eat ice chips for a day-and-a-half it's amazing how good a mediocre cafeteria hamburger can taste.
- Hot showers. There's nothing like a good, burning hot shower to make you feel human again. It's probably good for the people that have to be around me as well.
- Animal socks. Really, how can I stay down when I'm wearing monkeys on my feet?
- I'm still pregnant. Thankfully, this little guy decided it would be ok after all to stay in his uterine home a little while longer.
The continued good health of my baby is what this is all about. While it's so hard for me to be away from my husband and daughter and the comfortable surroundings of my home, I know I'll look back in just a few short weeks after I'm holding this little boy in my arms and say "it was all worth it."
And this will be just another small hill in my journey.