2 months

Happy 2 months, handsome boy. The doctors say you're growing like a weed, and Mommy and Daddy get tons of smiles everyday. I wish you could stay this little forever but then again, Mommy needs sleep.

Don't grow up too fast though.

Terrible two's

My daughter is the sweetest little girl...when she's not throwing temper tantrums that rival WWII.

The picture on the left was her very first temper tantrum at 5 months old that we were able to capture on film. The one on the right is (one of many) from last month. Tantrums can strike at any moment. Oh, did I mention she'll be 2 in March?

Working out with a toddler

I've been trying to lose the baby weight. And by "trying," I mean I've still been eating a bunch of junk. I mean, it's the holidays! Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, my birthday, Martin Luther King Jr. Day, Drinking Straw Day (it's true, look it up). That's a lot of celebrating to do, and celebrate I did.

I got ridiculously excited about the fact that I would be pregnant during Thanksgiving. I spent a lot of time talking to my uterus trying to convince Connor to stay in there through Thanksgiving so I could eat my weight in mashed potatoes. Selfish? Maybe a little. What can I say? I like Thanksgiving. It was a glorious, gravy-filled day. Now that the holidays are over, I thought it was probably time I tried a little harder to not look like I was still 4 months pregnant, so I started doing EA Sports Active for the Wii.

My mother-in-law got the game for me a year ago for Christmas and I was addicted right away. Finally, someone designed a game that tricks you into working out and making it actually enjoyable. After doing their 6 week challenge, I noticed that I was more toned and I felt stronger, which made it easier to carry my toddler and hover over public restroom toilets longer. Always a good thing. After getting home from having Connor, I decided to try the 6 week challenge to lose some of the weight. Everything was going well. I made it through most of the 4 day-a-week workouts while Connor napped. Some weeks, I even did one or two extra workouts on the weekends. But then, I hit a speed bump. That speed bump's name is Haley.

When I worked out before, it was always by myself while Haley was in daycare. This past weekend I thought it would be safe to work out while both the kids and my husband were napping. If you have kids, then you know that they have psychic powers. They sense the exact moment you decide to do something for yourself. The minute you turn your attention away from them to take a hot shower or sit down to watch your favorite TV show, that's when they choose to color on the kitchen floor or cover the cat in Vaseline.

I began my workout as usual but 12 minutes in, I heard my daughter (who has napped for a whole 7 minutes) knocking on her door to be let out. "I'm halfway done with my workout," I foolishly thought to myself, "I'll just keep going while she plays." As I continued my workout, Haley watched for a few minutes, then began to do everything in her power to increase my exercise difficulty from "hard" to "nearly impossible." When I tried to perform tricep kickbacks, Haley tugged on the resistance band. When I attempted push ups, Haley climbed on my back and tried to ride me like a horse. On the screen my virtual trainer, Nicki, reminded me to pay attention to how she performed the exercise. Through heaves, I explain to Nicki that I have a toddler clinging to my back and that she should try doing 16 push ups while being treated like a thoroughbred. Nicki tells me to try again. I get the feeling she's not listening.

I have a suggestion for EA Sports. When choosing how you would like to work out, in addition to "work out alone" and "work out with a friend," they need to add "work out with a toddler." With this option, your virtual trainer demonstrates all exercises while being assaulted by a two-year-old. As she demonstrates leg lifts, the virtual toddler clings to her leg yelling, "MommyMommyMommyMommy!" When she demonstrates how to do forward lunges, the toddler builds a tower of blocks in her path. Every exercise would only consist of 2 reps, but the calorie burn would be twice as much in half the time.

I noticed this morning that I've lost a total of 2 pounds. Maybe I should credit the "rideMommylikeahorse push ups."

Welcome to the world!

Ok ok, I know it's been 3 months since I last wrote but here's the thing: I think I may have forgotten what it's like to have a small baby in the house.

Any free time that I now have I either spend 1) taking care of a toddler and a newborn 2) doing chores or running errands (because apparently I love torturing myself on top of being sleep deprived) or 3) going to bed at 8 p.m. to make up for #1 and #2.

Now that we have the whining out of the way, Connor is finally here!


Pat and I were worried about how Haley would handle it since she's had the run of the house for the past 2 years. Maybe we should have been worried for Connor instead. For the past 7 1/2 weeks, we've had to physically peel Haley off of him. She's always trying to kiss him or pet him like he's a small, bald schnauzer. During the first week Connor was born, Haley had a cold. Because of the constant kissing and touching, Connor immediately caught her cold. It's really pitiful to see a newborn trying to manage a cold because the poor guy is so helpless, he can't keep his own pacifier in his mouth, much less blow his nose. That is when we discovered the bulb syringe. Magic I tell you.

Anyway like I said, I kind of forgot how things are when you have a newborn. I mean, there's just so much What to Expect When You're Expecting can cover I suppose. I think they should put out a similar book and call it What You Weren't Expecting: The Crap Those Other Guys Don't Tell You. In there, there would be chapters like:

1. Projectile Poo: How many feet baby poop can shoot at 2 a.m. when you're trying to change the kid in the dark
2. Spit Up: Your baby can aim pretty much anywhere
3. Wave Goodbye to Adult Conversation: How adding a "y" at the end childproofs any word
4. Sing Along: There's a song for even the most menial task
5. Feeding Time: Preparing to become a 24-hour diner
6. Bath Time: More like a war zone but with rubber duckies

That's the kind of book new moms need. We all know the basics like the baby needs to eat, sleep, and be changed, but no one ever tells you how to get baby poop out of your favorite shirt. I think there's a market for this.

I'm going back to work Monday, so it should be interesting to see how I manage this whole "lack of sleep" thing in addition to managing 2 kids and normal life again. My husband has been great helping out with Haley this whole time but come Monday, he knows he's going to have to start helping me take care of Connor on his whiny nights when he refuses to sleep anywhere except next to me. Now if I could only get him to lactate, we'd be all set.