Samples

My husband and I went to Sam's Club last night to pick up a few things. I don't know if I can use the phrase "pick up a few things" here though because when you go to Sam's, you can't buy just "a few things." Everything comes in large quantities.

2 giant bottles of grape jelly.

A gallon of syrup.

6 pounds of hamburger.

5 jars of salsa.

A hammock of cake.

OK, that last one isn't a real measurement, but you get the idea. I love Sam's Club. It gives me a reason to buy a 2 pound bag of M&M's and use the excuse, "it was the smallest bag they had!" But that's not my favorite thing though. My absolute favorite thing about Sam's Club is their samples.

When we were kids, my parents would take my brother and I to Sam's Club after church and we would eat our way through the samples and call it lunch. This was back when we used to go to a Presbyterian church, and for those who don't know, Presbyterians do church like runners do marathons. Church was a long, exhausting event for me as a child.

First, there was bible study for my parents while my brother and I were paraded off to Sunday school. After that, there was service in the sanctuary. In reality, church was probably about 3 hours long but at that age, it seemed like an eternity. Do you know how hard it is for a young, growing (aka plump) child to stay full for that length of time without snacks? I got really excited on the Sundays that we took communion because that meant I at least got some form of sustenance in my body, even if it was a thimble of grape juice and morsel of bread.

Sam's Club was heaven after the long wait. I would hone in on the location of each sample lady, and make a beeline for their table (with a parent of course, they didn't want kids like me filling their pockets full of meatballs). If I was lucky, they wouldn't remember that they had already given me a sample and I could come back later for more of the good stuff.

These days, I don't need a parent to accompany me to the sample table anymore, but I still get just as excited as I used to. I try to be as nonchalant as I can when I approach the tables, but in reality, I'm having a little party in my head. When the Sample Lady asks me if I would like to try something, I try to act surprised. "Oh, what's that? A sample you say? Sure, why not. I may as well since I'm here." Then I'm on to the next one.

Thank you, Sam's Club, for your wonderful array of affordable groceries. But more importantly, for your samples.