Welcome to the world!

Ok ok, I know it's been 3 months since I last wrote but here's the thing: I think I may have forgotten what it's like to have a small baby in the house.

Any free time that I now have I either spend 1) taking care of a toddler and a newborn 2) doing chores or running errands (because apparently I love torturing myself on top of being sleep deprived) or 3) going to bed at 8 p.m. to make up for #1 and #2.

Now that we have the whining out of the way, Connor is finally here!


Pat and I were worried about how Haley would handle it since she's had the run of the house for the past 2 years. Maybe we should have been worried for Connor instead. For the past 7 1/2 weeks, we've had to physically peel Haley off of him. She's always trying to kiss him or pet him like he's a small, bald schnauzer. During the first week Connor was born, Haley had a cold. Because of the constant kissing and touching, Connor immediately caught her cold. It's really pitiful to see a newborn trying to manage a cold because the poor guy is so helpless, he can't keep his own pacifier in his mouth, much less blow his nose. That is when we discovered the bulb syringe. Magic I tell you.

Anyway like I said, I kind of forgot how things are when you have a newborn. I mean, there's just so much What to Expect When You're Expecting can cover I suppose. I think they should put out a similar book and call it What You Weren't Expecting: The Crap Those Other Guys Don't Tell You. In there, there would be chapters like:

1. Projectile Poo: How many feet baby poop can shoot at 2 a.m. when you're trying to change the kid in the dark
2. Spit Up: Your baby can aim pretty much anywhere
3. Wave Goodbye to Adult Conversation: How adding a "y" at the end childproofs any word
4. Sing Along: There's a song for even the most menial task
5. Feeding Time: Preparing to become a 24-hour diner
6. Bath Time: More like a war zone but with rubber duckies

That's the kind of book new moms need. We all know the basics like the baby needs to eat, sleep, and be changed, but no one ever tells you how to get baby poop out of your favorite shirt. I think there's a market for this.

I'm going back to work Monday, so it should be interesting to see how I manage this whole "lack of sleep" thing in addition to managing 2 kids and normal life again. My husband has been great helping out with Haley this whole time but come Monday, he knows he's going to have to start helping me take care of Connor on his whiny nights when he refuses to sleep anywhere except next to me. Now if I could only get him to lactate, we'd be all set.