2 months

Happy 2 months, handsome boy. The doctors say you're growing like a weed, and Mommy and Daddy get tons of smiles everyday. I wish you could stay this little forever but then again, Mommy needs sleep.

Don't grow up too fast though.

Terrible two's

My daughter is the sweetest little girl...when she's not throwing temper tantrums that rival WWII.

The picture on the left was her very first temper tantrum at 5 months old that we were able to capture on film. The one on the right is (one of many) from last month. Tantrums can strike at any moment. Oh, did I mention she'll be 2 in March?

Working out with a toddler

I've been trying to lose the baby weight. And by "trying," I mean I've still been eating a bunch of junk. I mean, it's the holidays! Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, my birthday, Martin Luther King Jr. Day, Drinking Straw Day (it's true, look it up). That's a lot of celebrating to do, and celebrate I did.

I got ridiculously excited about the fact that I would be pregnant during Thanksgiving. I spent a lot of time talking to my uterus trying to convince Connor to stay in there through Thanksgiving so I could eat my weight in mashed potatoes. Selfish? Maybe a little. What can I say? I like Thanksgiving. It was a glorious, gravy-filled day. Now that the holidays are over, I thought it was probably time I tried a little harder to not look like I was still 4 months pregnant, so I started doing EA Sports Active for the Wii.

My mother-in-law got the game for me a year ago for Christmas and I was addicted right away. Finally, someone designed a game that tricks you into working out and making it actually enjoyable. After doing their 6 week challenge, I noticed that I was more toned and I felt stronger, which made it easier to carry my toddler and hover over public restroom toilets longer. Always a good thing. After getting home from having Connor, I decided to try the 6 week challenge to lose some of the weight. Everything was going well. I made it through most of the 4 day-a-week workouts while Connor napped. Some weeks, I even did one or two extra workouts on the weekends. But then, I hit a speed bump. That speed bump's name is Haley.

When I worked out before, it was always by myself while Haley was in daycare. This past weekend I thought it would be safe to work out while both the kids and my husband were napping. If you have kids, then you know that they have psychic powers. They sense the exact moment you decide to do something for yourself. The minute you turn your attention away from them to take a hot shower or sit down to watch your favorite TV show, that's when they choose to color on the kitchen floor or cover the cat in Vaseline.

I began my workout as usual but 12 minutes in, I heard my daughter (who has napped for a whole 7 minutes) knocking on her door to be let out. "I'm halfway done with my workout," I foolishly thought to myself, "I'll just keep going while she plays." As I continued my workout, Haley watched for a few minutes, then began to do everything in her power to increase my exercise difficulty from "hard" to "nearly impossible." When I tried to perform tricep kickbacks, Haley tugged on the resistance band. When I attempted push ups, Haley climbed on my back and tried to ride me like a horse. On the screen my virtual trainer, Nicki, reminded me to pay attention to how she performed the exercise. Through heaves, I explain to Nicki that I have a toddler clinging to my back and that she should try doing 16 push ups while being treated like a thoroughbred. Nicki tells me to try again. I get the feeling she's not listening.

I have a suggestion for EA Sports. When choosing how you would like to work out, in addition to "work out alone" and "work out with a friend," they need to add "work out with a toddler." With this option, your virtual trainer demonstrates all exercises while being assaulted by a two-year-old. As she demonstrates leg lifts, the virtual toddler clings to her leg yelling, "MommyMommyMommyMommy!" When she demonstrates how to do forward lunges, the toddler builds a tower of blocks in her path. Every exercise would only consist of 2 reps, but the calorie burn would be twice as much in half the time.

I noticed this morning that I've lost a total of 2 pounds. Maybe I should credit the "rideMommylikeahorse push ups."

Welcome to the world!

Ok ok, I know it's been 3 months since I last wrote but here's the thing: I think I may have forgotten what it's like to have a small baby in the house.

Any free time that I now have I either spend 1) taking care of a toddler and a newborn 2) doing chores or running errands (because apparently I love torturing myself on top of being sleep deprived) or 3) going to bed at 8 p.m. to make up for #1 and #2.

Now that we have the whining out of the way, Connor is finally here!


Pat and I were worried about how Haley would handle it since she's had the run of the house for the past 2 years. Maybe we should have been worried for Connor instead. For the past 7 1/2 weeks, we've had to physically peel Haley off of him. She's always trying to kiss him or pet him like he's a small, bald schnauzer. During the first week Connor was born, Haley had a cold. Because of the constant kissing and touching, Connor immediately caught her cold. It's really pitiful to see a newborn trying to manage a cold because the poor guy is so helpless, he can't keep his own pacifier in his mouth, much less blow his nose. That is when we discovered the bulb syringe. Magic I tell you.

Anyway like I said, I kind of forgot how things are when you have a newborn. I mean, there's just so much What to Expect When You're Expecting can cover I suppose. I think they should put out a similar book and call it What You Weren't Expecting: The Crap Those Other Guys Don't Tell You. In there, there would be chapters like:

1. Projectile Poo: How many feet baby poop can shoot at 2 a.m. when you're trying to change the kid in the dark
2. Spit Up: Your baby can aim pretty much anywhere
3. Wave Goodbye to Adult Conversation: How adding a "y" at the end childproofs any word
4. Sing Along: There's a song for even the most menial task
5. Feeding Time: Preparing to become a 24-hour diner
6. Bath Time: More like a war zone but with rubber duckies

That's the kind of book new moms need. We all know the basics like the baby needs to eat, sleep, and be changed, but no one ever tells you how to get baby poop out of your favorite shirt. I think there's a market for this.

I'm going back to work Monday, so it should be interesting to see how I manage this whole "lack of sleep" thing in addition to managing 2 kids and normal life again. My husband has been great helping out with Haley this whole time but come Monday, he knows he's going to have to start helping me take care of Connor on his whiny nights when he refuses to sleep anywhere except next to me. Now if I could only get him to lactate, we'd be all set.

Sometimes, 1/2 really counts

Remember when you were a kid and someone would ask you how old you were and you'd always make sure to add in the half? "I'm eight and a half." That half was essential. It meant you were that much closer to becoming an adult. Or at least that much closer to becoming a teenager which is thrilling because teenagers got to do all the fun stuff like going rollerskating or staying up past 9pm.

That extra half has become important to me again lately. I'm 31 1/2 weeks pregnant. That half means I'm that much closer to having a baby who is older and less likely to have any problems breathing or eating on his own, which is why I'm strapped to a hospital bed at the moment. The doctors tell me that each day I'm pregnant is one less day that the baby will have to spend in the NICU.

Through all of this, I was curious as to what the goal was since I have little to look forward to each day other than breakfast, lunch and dinner. I was unsure of whether the doctor wanted me to stay in bed for another 8 1/2 weeks as my body slowly becomes one with the mattress, or if they had a different plan in mind. The doctors tell me the plan is to make it to at least 35 weeks, which is when I gave birth to my daughter in my last pregnancy. She was born perfectly healthy with no complications, but apparently little preemie girls do better than preemie boys. The nurses here actually refer to the preemie boys as "wimpy white boys." Probably because they'd rather lay around on their uterine water beds and eat all day rather than bother with being born. Typical.

For now, I'm just counting my blessings as the days continue to pass and I continue to stay pregnant. Plus, the daily naps don't hurt.

Let's keep it boring

A whole 5 days have passed since my admission to the hospital and my life has gotten pretty predictable. Most days go something like this:

• 6:30am: Wake up tangled in my Snoogle (giant pregnancy pillow resembling a huge, cushy candy cane) and bed sheets, feeling slightly hung over from my nightly dosage of Ambien.
• 6:40am: After an epic battle similar to World War I, but without the aid of neighboring countries, manage to free self from the giant pillow.
• 6:45am: Browse the menu on my side table for the 80th time, even though I have the entire thing committed to memory. Wrestle with the difficult decision of whether to order Raisin Bran or french toast sticks. Choose french toast sticks after deciding bed rest + Raisin Bran=recipe for disaster.
• 7:00am: Turn the TV on to TLC to watch "A Baby Story." Watch as multiple women undergo horrible labors that last for 3 days without epidurals. Decide watching this show was probably not my best decision considering my state, and that people who decide not to get an epidural must be at least a little crazy.
• 7:45am: Food arrives. Try to close my eyes and pretend I'm at IHOP. Nurse comes in and checks my blood pressure. Decide that if this same service was offered at IHOP, people would probably eat a lot fewer Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity's.
• 8:00am-12pm: Spend morning switching between TLC, Discovery Channel, Travel Channel, and Food Network. Become very knowledgable about giving birth to multiples, species of animals living in the Amazon, luxury yachts, and how to make a mean chipotle.
• 12:05pm-12:45pm: Order lunch and take an unreasonably long shower since it's one of the only times I'm allowed to stand. Consider attempting to trim hair with toenail clippers. Decide to have husband bring real scissors later to avoid the risk of making myself look like a little boy.
• 12:45pm-2pm: Eat lunch and turn on computer. Facebook stalk everyone on my friends list (hey, I have a lot of time on my hands here. No one is safe.)
• 2:05pm-4:45pm: More television time mixed with occassional book reading.
• 4:50pm-6:30pm: Husband and daughter come to visit. Spend most of the time watching Fresh Beat Band and trying to convince my daughter that the bathroom is not an amusement park. Say goodbye to my family.
• 6:45pm: Eat dinner and make a mental note to never order the turkey and stuffing again, unless I have a sudden craving for shoe leather.
• 7pm-10pm: More TV time.
• 10:05pm: Nurse brings medications. Fall asleep in an Ambien daze.
• Rinse, repeat.

The nurses have been coming in each day to check on me and make sure everything is going well - and probably to make sure I haven't become a zombie yet. A pregnant woman roaming the halls in search of brains is probably not good for the hospital's image. My nurse this afternoon gave me this piece of advice: "Let's keep it boring."

No problem. I've had lots of practice.

Roller coaster

For this post, I had originally planned on writing about all the new winter clothes I've been making Haley with all of the cooler weather. Unfortunately, things don't always go quite as we plan do they? I've discovered that to be more and more true over the past 2 1/2 days. But then again, my road in life isn't full of just valleys. There are the hills, too.

I'm not sure how much I've mentioned previously about the complications I had with my daughter when I was pregnant with her since I started writing this particular blog after she was born, but I'll try to make a long, drawn out story short. While pregnant with her it was discovered that I have a small cervix. For those of you who aren't up to date on female anatomy, the cervix is a very important part that helps to keep the baby in. For women with a small cervix, that means there is a very good chance of having a premature baby. Unfortunately, I am one of those people.

At 25 weeks pregnant with my daughter, my cervix became so shortened that I was forced to go on bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy, which ended up being 10 more weeks until my daughter made her way into the world in all of her impatient glory after only 30 minutes of pushing. See, I'm great at the whole labor and delivery thing, but I'm not so good at the whole staying pregnant thing. Which brings me to recent events.

This time around, my husband and I were aware of my incompetent cervix. I approached each monthly visit with my OB tentatively, always with the thought in the back of my head that things might take a turn for the worse like they had the last time. But when I made it to 26 weeks with still no sign of a singular complication I thought, "maybe this time things are different!" And they were, but only until this past Tuesday at my 30th week appointment when it was discovered that my cervix had shortened from a normal length of 3 cm to a mere 6 mm.

I can't tell you how disappointed I was at that moment. Disappointed that things were, in fact, NOT different this time around. They were just the same.

And so I was wheeled off to the labor and delivery wing of the hospital to make sure I didn't go into early labor. And that is where I sit now (still pregnant, thankfully.) It's been 2 1/2 days since I was brought here and part of me still can't believe it's even been that long. I feel like I've been on a roller coaster, one that I can't seem to get off. Despite everything though, I have found a lot to be thankful for.

1. My husband. Because of these sudden events, my poor hubby has had to take over a ton of responsibility, including being the sole caretaker of our daughter while I'm at the hospital. If you see my daughter and her hair resembles that of a Troll doll, I take no responsibility.
2. The support of some amazing friends. In the past 2 1/2 days, I've had friends come visit me to keep me company, paint my toenails, bring me foods I've been craving, help my husband care for my little girl at home, bring me reading materials, and handle my vomit container after I got sick. I don't know what I did to deserve such awesome friends, but I know that I'm eternally indebted to at least 9 people, and I'm ok with that.
3. Prayers of family. There's nothing like the knowledge that your family loves you so much that they have an entire state praying for your health and that of your baby. Between mine and my husband's family members, we pretty much have the entire East Coast praying for us.
4. Solid food. When someone tells you you can only eat ice chips for a day-and-a-half it's amazing how good a mediocre cafeteria hamburger can taste.
5. Hot showers. There's nothing like a good, burning hot shower to make you feel human again. It's probably good for the people that have to be around me as well.
6. Animal socks. Really, how can I stay down when I'm wearing monkeys on my feet?
7. I'm still pregnant. Thankfully, this little guy decided it would be ok after all to stay in his uterine home a little while longer.

The continued good health of my baby is what this is all about. While it's so hard for me to be away from my husband and daughter and the comfortable surroundings of my home, I know I'll look back in just a few short weeks after I'm holding this little boy in my arms and say "it was all worth it."

And this will be just another small hill in my journey.